Gayle Forman, whose previous books include If I Stay and Just One Day, specializes not only in three-word titles but also in novels that combine emotional intensity with moral complexity. I Was Here opens with a gut-wrenching wallop as Cody relates the suicide email she received from her best friend, Meg.

Meg always admired Cody's strength, and Cody admired Meg's fearlessness and originality. But the girls have grown apart since high school graduation. Meg escaped to college in the big city, and Cody's still living with her mom, cleaning houses for a living and quietly flunking out of community college. Their emails grow increasingly sporadic until they stop altogether—that is, until that final email marking the end of Meg's life and the beginning of agonizing questions about why this vivacious young woman would choose to die. Tasked by Meg's parents with the unenviable job of cleaning out their daughter's apartment, Cody encounters computer files that hint at a bigger, darker story surrounding Meg's suicide.

Thrilling and introspective, I Was Here will prompt readers to reflect profoundly on their own friendships.

 

This article was originally published in the February 2015 issue of BookPage. Download the entire issue for the Kindle or Nook.

As she did in If I Stay, Forman offers an introspective examination of the line between life and death, and the courage it takes to persist. College freshman Meg's suicide shocks no one more than her best friend Cody. To make Meg's death even more unsettling, the last six months of her emails are missing from her computer. Certain that an outsider—a correspondent of Meg's—pushed her to take her own life, Cody embarks on a quest to identify the culprit. Her journey proves both enlightening and dangerous as she traces the steps Meg took during her last weeks of life. As the pieces of a disturbing puzzle start to fit together, Cody takes an enormous risk to come to terms with Meg's final decision and her own guilt. Beyond exploring Cody's grief, this psychologically incisive book delves into her complex relationships with Tricia, her single mother; Meg's more conventional family; and, most profoundly, the boy who stole and wounded Meg's heart shortly before her death. Ages 14–up. Agent: Michael Bourret, Dystel & Goderich Literary Management. (Jan.)

Gr 9 Up—Cody and Meg have been inseparable since childhood. They planned to leave their small town in Washington and move to Seattle to go to college, but that changed when Meg got a full scholarship to a small, prestigious private college in Tacoma, WA. Having no scholarships or money saved, Cody is now stuck in town, cleaning houses to have a little bit of money to give to her mom toward living expenses and to take a couple classes at the local community college. Those classes have gone by the wayside, though, since news came of Meg's suicide. Meticulously planned, her former best friend ordered a poison that had a high fatality rate, and sent emails to friends and family on a timed delay so that no one could interfere with her fatal decision. Cody struggles to figure out why Meg took her own life and puzzles over a suspicious line in her friend's suicide email. The distraught but determined teen begins to encrypt files on Meg's laptop, which lead her to a suicide support group and posts from All_BS, a Pied Piper-type character who encourages suicide as a way out. As she goes further down the rabbit hole, Cody comes to the realization that she needs to forgive Meg, and, more importantly, herself. Reminiscent of Nina LaCour's Hold Still (Dutton, 2009), Anna Jarzab's All Unquiet Things (Delacorte, 2010), and Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why (Penguin, 2007), teens will clamor for this latest offering from the author of If I Stay (Dutton, 2009). Have multiple copies in your collection.—Suanne B. Roush, formerly at Osceola High School, Seminole, FL

Gr 9 Up—After 19-year-old Cody's best friend, Meg, committed suicide, Cody was left questioning everything she thought she knew about Meg and their friendship. While looking through Meg's laptop, the young woman uncovers some encrypted files that reference The Final Solution, an online "support" group for those considering suicide. Cody embarks on a dangerous game of cat and mouse, trying to determine who encouraged Meg to end her life. Cody is so single-minded about casting blame that she can't see that Meg was suffering from severe depression or that she is putting herself in danger when she confronts in person one of the Final Solution's members. The first third of the novel is gripping and emotional but then the threads all come apart. Cody at times is so reckless that teens will struggle to find the story realistic. Add in a new romance and the sudden bonding of the teen and her standoffish mother and listeners will struggle to figure out what kind of story this is. Narrator Jorjeana Marie uses a monotone voice for Cody, which demonstrates the depths of Cody's sorrow and inertia. While the technique is important in setting the tone of the character's outlook, it grows wearisome. VERDICT Even fans of Forman will find this gritty story a hard sell. An additional selection.—Suzanne Dix, The Seven Hills School, Cincinnati, OH